It's Just a number…that's what I would silently tell myself every time I would step on the scale.

Yet, no matter what, the higher the number it stopped at, the lower my self esteem would plummet.  I won't pretend that it doesn't still happen to me, after all, no one is perfect.  What I didn't realize however,

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is the thing that was really getting in the way of me losing weight, and changing those numbers for good, was to let go of the lies I had adopted as truth.

It finally sunk

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in that it was much more than weight I was holding onto.  I was holding onto the belief that I would always be overweight, or that since I had a child, my body would be forever heavier.  Oh the lies!  I also discovered all the ways in my life, I had put me last, only to later awake to the reality…"You can't pour out of an empty cup!"  

The bottom line is, I didn't like myself very much.  If I did, I would WANT to eat food that makes me feel healthy & strong.  I would WANT to exercise in ways that make me happy.  I would make me and MY needs as much of a priority as I did caring for my family's needs.  But I didn't and it effected everything around me.

I remember turning down summer pool invites, because I was afraid to be seen in a bathing suit.  I wore clothes that were baggy, & comfortable, that I could hide in.  I didn't feel confident enough to even be intimate with my husband without the lights being off, and my eyes closed.  This wasn't the life I imagined.  So where did I start?

In my head.  I had to change my thinking to change my life.  When I told my husband how I felt, he said all the good things a husband should say.  "You are beautiful, I love you just the way you are!"  My gosh, why couldn't I extend myself the same courtesy?!  It wasn't easy, but after many days of face to face mirror affirmations, and learning to say YES to myself and my needs, I noticed something. With every lie I busted through with truth, the more weight I would lose!  This was no coincidence.  The weight was a symptom of something greater, that was out of balance.  

Here is the truth:  You are beautiful.  Every curve, every scar, every line, crease, or wrinkle.  You were created to receive love, and to give it away.  Somewhere along the way, we've convinced ourselves to only give…we've forgotten how to receive love.  Think of God, the source of all love…He created you for more than this.  Let go of whatever it is in your life, keeping you in body prison, and say yes to you.  You are worth it.